Toilet Clog Nightmare

So the toilet clogged this morning during the 5AM hour. The toilet clogging is not an uncommon problem here. Our plumbing and water pressure is awful.

But this incident was exceptionally awful for me. I flush the toilet and find it has been clogged. I look for a toilet plunger, its gone! SHIT! (in more ways then one)

So I try to do what my mom does to flush the toilet when the pressure is bad, pour a pail of water in the toilet. Usually that does the job, this time the answer was no. Shit.

So I take a look around the bathroom and my first thought is the cleaning brush. Whatever not like its been used for awhile. So I try unclugging the toilet with the brush. No luck, and now my hands are starting to get covered in toilet water.

I freak out. I have OCD and am a germophobe.

So I look for something else, I grab a broom stick and start sticking it down the hole. No luck.

I look under the sink, find the small sink drain plunger. At first I try to unclog the toilet with my BARE HANDS and getting more toilet water on my hands as it happens. I kept throwing everything I was using in the bathroom garbage.

Finally I go grab a pair of black leather gloves I refuse to use because they're old and worn. I put them on and start unclogging the toilet with the sink plunger with the glove on. Success.

I grab the Lysol and start spraying the crap out of the room hoping to kill as many germs as possible. Then I go to wash my hands with everything, soap, our cold-only water, disinfectant wipes, sprayed some lysol on my hands, then some purell hand sanitizer.

Part 1, over. Now the bathroom garbage. I grab a trash bag and turn the bathroom garbage with all the "tools" in it. Then as I start to remove it, everything from the wet "tools" to dirty maxi-pads start flying out all over the bathroom floor. So I have to pick it all up piece by piece and tie the garbage bag back together. I re do the hand wash rutine with the lysol. Then I sprayed away everything from the toilet to the sinks to the garbage to my hands to the floor to the garbage bags themself with the lysol. Then I sprayed my shoes with the lysol.

Then I had to find a change of clothes. I find a pair of pants. Put them on. Then I find out dry DOG SHIT was stuck on this pair of pants. I haven't worn them in awhile.

Here we go again. I go and grab another pair of pants and wash up again.

All this to take a morning piss? Damn!